Jerry, you need to find god
I think i peed on brittanys purse
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
