Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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