I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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