Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
FUCK WHALES
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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