Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
