70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
