Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize