Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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