But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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