Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
