the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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