I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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