How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize