I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
