my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Alive.
So much puke
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
