i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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