We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
