By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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