i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
