I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize