Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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