Your dad touched me again.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
