I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
