thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Please don't give away my fajitas
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
