dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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