I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
God, I missed his penis.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
