Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
