Define "chronic" masturbator.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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