the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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