Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
