help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
