They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
