i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I have fence marks all over my body
I can feel your judgement through the phone
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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