You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
