I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
