Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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