I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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