I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
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I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
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I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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