that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
