You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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