This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I believe in your delicious
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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