You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
