So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
