so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Text me some of your sweat
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
