Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
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You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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