Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
