Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
