We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
