Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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