tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
my being single is dangerous.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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