you mean i was at the winter classic?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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