connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I think your dad took our porno
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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