break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
