I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
