News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.