do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
