Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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