So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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